TIPS ON HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR BRIDESMAIDS
1. QUALITY > QUANTITY
I cannot stress this one enough and it is my number one tip. Narrow your bridal party down! You do not NEED 8-12 girls by your side. They literally won't even fit in all the photos (unless you want to be the size of an ant in the pictures), especially those square photos on Insta! They'll surely get cut off. And honestly, the more people there are, the more expensive it gets because as a bride, you'll probably want to buy all your bridesmaids gifts or pay for their hair and makeup. There's also more potential for drama when you add more girls into the mix.
Choose your closest and dearest only-- the ones you just can't imagine getting married without. I chose my 2 cousins as my Matrons of Honor. We are extremely close (they're like the sisters I never had). And I chose my 2 college roommates as my Bridesmaids who have been with me through so much. They are the friends I know I'll have for life.
Sadly, I know some people who don't even want to look at their wedding photos anymore because they no longer talk to/are friends with the people who stood by their side during their weddings. I wanted to choose the girls in my life that I knew without a doubt would also remain in my life forever! I lucked out that 2 of the 4 are my cousins so they can't go anywhere! HAHA! Stuck for life! And the other 2 are lifelong friends for sure.
I am a person who LOVES symmetry. I love when things are balanced and look even. I COMPLETELY understand wanting the bridesmaids and groomsmen to match in number. It used to drive me absolutely crazy thinking about how Earl and I were going to have a mismatched number of groomsmen to bridesmaids. He was going to have 7 and I was going to have 4. We couldn't agree on a number that would match (he couldn't bring his number down to 4 and I didn't want to ask 7), so at the end of the day, I decided THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE THE SAME.
I decided, it was way more important to me to have my closest friends/family by my side than it was to have our numbers be the same. I didn't' want to ask 3 additional girls "just to match" (not that I didn't have 3 other girls that I absolutely love and considered). I just really wanted to keep my bridal party small and intimate.
It's OK to have uneven numbers! And if you're worried about photos or having an uneven number walk down the aisle, no worries! Your photographer will know how to pose your group so that it doesn't look so obvious. And we were going to have 2 sets of 2 groomsmen with 1 bridesmaid-- no big deal!
3. GOOD VIBES ONLY
Although you should choose your dearest and closest, it's also important to choose the ones who actually LOVE you, are super supportive, have a positive can-do attitude, and are genuinely helpful. Weddings tend to be stressful and you're asking your bridesmaids to be part of your day not only because you can't imagine the day without them, but also because you want them to be part of your planning, your projects, to calm you down, to be your support system, and to just share in your happiness!
You do NOT need any kind of drama, girls who don't get along with each other, friends who are always "too busy" to make it out for you, and people who just don't make you feel your best.
There have been some forums I've stumbled upon about brides complaining about their bridesmaids who never check in with her, don't respond to group text messages, and don't want to help plan her bachelorette or bridal shower. I just want to hug these ladies because it really sucks to not feel supported by the girls you took time and thought to choose!
4. HONORARY BRIDESMAID/HOUSE PARTY
Even though I knew I was set on 4 girls, I wanted to include my other cousin as much as possible. I asked her to be my Honorary Bridesmaid-- where she was pretty much involved with all the wedding festivities but didn't have to stand at the ceremony. She was so extremely helpful from Day 1 of my engagement, lended her crafty skills with our floral arrangements, helped with my bachelorette, and was so supportive on my wedding day. I totally wanted her to be there with us as we all got ready! She was so sweet and understanding. I think it also helps that with our group of girl cousins, we all kinda just take turns being in each other's weddings while someone is the designated honorary bridesmaid :)
Another option if you have multiple people you want to include and not just 1--I read about this in a blog where the girls you did not ask to be part of your bridal party can be called your "house party". If you have a big group of friends or family that you still want to include in your big day, but not necessarily have them ALL as bridesmaids, this would be a great solution!
Members of the House Party wear a dress that matches the color scheme of your wedding, but aren't the same color as the bridesmaids. These members often participate in the "getting-ready" portion of the day, are included in all the major festivities, and can even have some duties during the wedding like greeting guests, passing out programs, etc.
5. BUT YOU WERE IN MY WEDDING
And lastly, just because you were in someone's wedding doesn't mean you have to choose them to be in yours. I know it may feel like an obligation, but if they are your true friends, they will support you-- bridal party or not. Friendships change over time. Maybe you were close back then when your friend was getting married. Maybe a few years have passed and you don't really talk anymore. You don't have to feel pressured to ask them to be in your wedding.
And that's it! I hope some of these tips will help you as you start thinking about your own bridal party. All in all, I hope you choose the ones who make you feel the happiest and most loved😄
with love,
Julia💜
PHOTOGRAPHER:
Stephanie Weber
stephanieweberphotography.com
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